Saturday, February 4, 2012
(1) Scientists at the Whole Cloth Institute for Fabricated Studies have concluded that the use of leaf blowers causes unsightly blotching, anal seepage, and sudden, irreversible hair loss. Prolonged use can lead to a compulsion to burst into "The Flowers That Bloom In The Spring, Tra La" at major sporting events, and premature death. By homicide.
(3) And last, a note to our friends across Asia. Word on the street is that ground CEO penis improves sexual potency.