|Known Universe Segment, With Helium|
Particle physicists, though, talk like that all the time. They like to distinguish between the "known universe" and all the other ones we don't know, but have suspicions about. "There might be a universe tucked right alongside of this one like the little tissue paper inside a wedding invitation," one particle physicist will say, "but we don't know how to prove it."
"Unless we can find snorbits," the other particle physicist says. "Or evidence of snorbits."
But let's just leave them be, and go back to helium being the second most-abundant element in the universe, which we're going to go ahead and call The Universe. Why would we need a repository? Well, it turns out that most of the universe is a really long drive from here. And here, we don't have all that much helium. So we have a repository in Texas. Great place for one. In Texas, where the official position is that global warming is a hoax, they've had a horrible long drought and have had to drill deeper and deeper for antique groundwater, and the rock layers they're pulling the water out of are beginning to collapse. Judiciously placed helium caves could well keep things propped up on the surface so that everybody's bowling balls still roll regular.
Much obliged to reader Kendra Nissley for alerting me to the helium shortage.