Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Getting To Know You


In a number of states it is now an official position that you should get to know your fetus before you have it evicted. And that is why it has been suggested that a doctor should conduct an ultrasound of the fetus and describe it in detail to you. Democrats, in general, don't see the point of this, although actually they do. So there have been other suggestions.

Taking a page from the elections department, where hanging chads are examined by a member of each major party, some legislatures are proposing that a Democrat and a Republican should be in attendance during the ultrasound, since it is assumed that a woman who has already had to get used to having one extraneous being in the room is not going to mind a committee.

The Republican doctor will begin by remarking on the length of the fetus's fingers, and exclaim that he has the hands of a violinist.

The Democratic doctor will point out that this is also a good attribute for a pickpocket, and that in any case the Republicans have eliminated funding for music education in the schools, leaving the accordion, drum kit, and boom box as the only choices readily available to children.

The Republican will say that although the little tiny soul is not actually visible in the ultrasound, probably because it is being blocked by the elbow, it is most assuredly there and has been since before the blastocyst stage.
4. Little tiny soul

The Democrat will note that the image is cloudy and there is no feasible scientific way of determining for certain whether or not the fetus is already on the path to becoming a meth dealer, but there is no way to rule it out, either.

The Republican will comment that the child with all its perfect components parts (listed) will, if given the chance, be born into the Land of the Free.

The Democrat will say, clearing his throat, he doesn't know about Free, but it costs $241,000 on average to raise a child to adulthood, adding, however, that it is not at all unusual these days for that adult child to remain in the basement playing video games, whacking off, and getting Cheeto dust all over the furniture until he is well into his forties.

The plan has been implemented on a trial basis in a number of counties in Texas resulting, in every case, in bloodshed or the threat thereof, with the unarmed Democrat considered to be at a distinct disadvantage.

As a result, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (a.k.a. Notorious RBG) weighed in on the issue, proposing that the single Republican doctor should indeed be the only one in attendance, just as soon as he finishes reading Where The Wild Things Are to a million frozen embryos.

25 comments:

  1. Another succinct and accurate post! This is such a difficult subject and I will be quite frank in that I do not know where I stand/sit. Whatever a mother decides we should be there for help and consolation and ice cream.

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    1. I know just where I stand, but I won't argue it with anybody. I just vote a certain way and write certain checks. I'm totally with you on the ice cream.

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    2. Saya sangat bersyukur atas rahmat yg diberikan kepada saya dibulan ini karna alhamdulillah melalui MBAH RAWA GUMPALA saya sekaran sudah bisa sukses atas nomor yg diberikan kepada saya dan saya yg dulunya cuma seorang TKW dari singapur yg gajinya tidak pernah mencukupi kebutuhan keluarga saya dikampun dan alhamdulillah berkat bantuan MBAH RAWA GUMPALA kini saya sudah bisa pulang kampun,saya bersama keluarga dikampun sudah punya usaha sendiri dan saya tidak pernah menyanka kalau saya bisah seperti ini,jika anda ingin seperti saya silahkan hubungi MBAH RAWA GUMPALA di nomor 085-316-106-111...karna alhamdulillah saya menan nomor togel dari MBAH dan kalau uang indonesia 750 juta,,ini bukan rekayasa dari saya dari IBU RISKA.untuk lebih lenkapnya silahkan buka SITUS MBAH RAWA GUMPALA












      Saya sangat bersyukur atas rahmat yg diberikan kepada saya dibulan ini karna alhamdulillah melalui MBAH RAWA GUMPALA saya sekaran sudah bisa sukses atas nomor yg diberikan kepada saya dan saya yg dulunya cuma seorang TKW dari singapur yg gajinya tidak pernah mencukupi kebutuhan keluarga saya dikampun dan alhamdulillah berkat bantuan MBAH RAWA GUMALA kini saya sudah bisa pulang kampun,saya bersama keluarga dikampun sudah punya usaha sendiri dan saya tidak pernah menyanka kalau saya bisah seperti ini,jika anda ingin seperti saya silahkan hubungi MBAH RAWA GUMPALA di nomor 085-316-106-111...karna alhamdulillah saya menan nomor togel dari MBAH dan kalau uang indonesia 750 juta,,ini bukan rekayasa dari saya dari IBU RISKA.untuk lebih lenkapnya silahkan buka SITUS MBAH RAWA GUMPALA

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  2. Justice Ginsburg wrote about her reasoning in Roe vs. Wade, and this is the information gathered from a biography: She felt abortions would keep down the birthrates of the poor minorities, keeping that population in check.

    I have seen the ultrasounds through the stages of development. By the end of the 2nd month, there is a 4 chamber heart, a spine and pelvic, sexual organs, hands and feet bones, and a nervous system. Abortions at that stage ARE painful to the baby/fetus. When the saline solution is injected, the baby/fetus convulses in pain.
    This info is taken straight from a non-associated medical site.
    Obviously, I am against abortions.

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    1. Most people are. Including pro-choicers.

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  3. I'd rather see more emphasis on contraception (although there are those who argue that even condoms cause the death of potential life). But in an imperfect world, I think prevention - wherever possible - outweighs the cure by a long shot.

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    1. We're probably about to go old-school and wipe out huge portions of the population with plagues. So there's that, too.

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  4. P. S. Attention Murr - I'm emailing you!

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  5. Just because I don't HAVE a uterus doesn't mean I was never in one. Why I remember back when I was a zygote..... oh, wait. No I don't. Later, when I had gills and a tail... I don't remember that either.
    I am happy to say I have never caused anyone to make a decision of that nature and I am sure it is rarely an easy one. I seriously doubt that any Democrat or Republican is more capable of making that decision than the woman carrying the fetus and her doctor.

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    1. I totally remember having gills and a tail. It's a wonder I still can't swim worth a durn.

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  6. Such a difficult decision. Already. Without adding to it.
    Particularly without adding guilt to the mix.

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    1. At least one point worth making (and I rarely wade into this sucker) is that making abortions illegal does not make them go away. Something altogether different happens. Something not good at all.

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  7. The 1% (the only post-birth humans than matter to most Republicans) don't worry about abortion laws. No matter what restrictions are placed on the procedure, rich women can always fly off to Costa Rica and come back fetus-free. It's the rest of us who have to deal with unplanned or unsafe pregnancies, the rest of us who either give birth to a child that is unwanted or that can't adequately be supported, or undergo a dangerous illegal abortion. I really don't want to see coat hangers come back into fashion, but I fear that's where we're headed.

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    1. I am not rich, but I too could fly off to Costa Rica and come back fetus-free. See? Look at me. I just can't wade into this. It's too fraught. I deliberately made this post about abortion politics, more than about abortion. The only decent point I did make was at the end, there. I don't hear people getting all het up about a million frozen embryos, or the creation thereof. Because--why? Because they're not exactly dead yet? I will say this. I am much more comfortable with the fact of mortality than many people. Maybe even specifically religious people.

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  8. Any male wading into this is either nuts, or has a moral unbalance that makes him think he can rule women's bodies.

    That said, seems you have both sides of the issue covered, and although my wife died and i have two daughters that are wonderful women, I have feelings but not the ego to think they are important.
    Tis' a fraught issue, Murr. But perhaps people should 'wade into this'. Otherwise, things happen that make it seem 20% of people speak for all.

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    1. I like your comments, Should. I suspect males have every bit as much of a right--sort of--to weigh in on matters of life and death. But some things are so damn, damn private. Like one's own death, for instance. Although I understand them, I tend to revile "slippery slope" arguments.

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  9. Your brain is the BEST place to visit (just glad I don't have to live there--*waggles cigar*).

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    1. Oh you'd like it. There's not much to it--you can go from one side to the other in an afternoon--but then there's beer afterwards.

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  10. This makes me glad I had all my kids before ultrasound images were invented; and that I live in Australia.

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    1. Plus, you get Potoroos and Bandicoots.

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  11. I totally missed the point here didn't I?
    I have my own views on abortion, I don't favour them, but sometimes they are necessary. Prevention is a much better option.

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    1. I had a point? Do I ever have a point?

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  12. How do you do this understatement thing that you do? Master of the understatement and deflection of views.
    It's fun how you do this really controversial subject, and deny all.....what, not responsibility, but something like that.
    I'm not fond of 'slippery slope' either, unless it serves my ends.
    I enjoyed Portland so much when I lived there. Everywhere from up on 18th and NW couch, #511 back in '69 to NE Oregon and SW Hawthorne in the mid 70's.
    Pass your smarts on, Murr. What I've tried to do, the two girls seem to have absorbed, sorted, chosen and done it.

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    1. How lucky are you! I still wonder exactly how my children would have disappointed me. Because you can't always count on your own influence.

      I am given to understatement because I believe in the disarming power of humor and also because I tend to see a lot of sides to things. It doesn't mean I don't have opinions, but I don't like to fling them at people. It doesn't work, for one thing.

      Also, I guess I'm as averse to conflict as anybody. And I rarely see things in black and white. I do make an exception for, um...climate change deniers, for one. Some things really are black and white.

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