Saturday, February 9, 2019

The State Of Our Union Is Wrong

Like everybody else, except Native Americans who might otherwise like to vote, the State of the Union has an address. Which means you can get a pretty good fix on it. With a good enough address, you can find out if the fellow in charge is able to correctly identify actual problems and then not really do anything about them; or, conversely, he has no idea what's at stake, attacks fictitious problems, and doesn't really do anything about those either. The first gives you that tiny pop in your sails for a few minutes, and the second makes you want to go straight to bed with Cheez-its, a bottle of hooch, and a catheter.

This one was a doozy. Both teams were in uniform: white on the side of Faint Hope, blue suits and red ties on the side of the Co-Conspirators. The co-conspirators got the most exercise. If you were able to thread them properly and hook them up to a machine, you could have stitched a nice long seam. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down. With the white team, you'd end up with the same basket of unfinished mending you started with. That's what makes them relatable.

All those ovations took a toll on the co-conspirators, though. Next year they're hoping to power their pants with coal, if they can't farm out the standing applause to ragged children in Bangladesh for a nickel.

Ovations there must be, however, in order to keep the Dear Leader from sagging like an inflatable tube-man at a used car lot. He was thus encouraged to tout all his accomplishments, most of them, amazingly enough, having been achieved like never before. This is the kind of thing you say if your history book starts the moment you get your breakfast cheeseburger and concludes with The Sean Hannity Show. Highlights included the smooth segue from defending sacred fetal life to having the biggest, baddest-ass military ever, like the world has never, ever seen.

It was a little disappointing, though, from a reality standpoint. Our commander-in-chief, as well as the rest of us, is standing under a monster Death Star and his plan is to shade his eyes, send the Death Star supplementary fuel and supplies, and send in the Marines to deal with a little hatch of imaginary terrorist mice on the southern border. It does make one wonder if he and the co-conspirator team even know where the true threat lies, but not to worry--it turns out they do.

It's Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Ordinarily someone this fresh to Congress would not be the subject of so many mocking memes and hysterical right-wing attacks, so you have to give the suckers credit for knowing who's about to eat their lunch. Even just since the State of the Union address, where she sat resplendent in white with all her congress-sisters, she has been attacked for being too wide-eyed and wild AND being too sullen. She needs to find that middle ground.

Specifically, the middle ground wherein she pushes inconsequential legislation, protects the interests of billionaires, comes out strong against childhood diseases and the plague, and paves in a few wetlands on weekends.

While being blonde.

35 comments:

  1. Obviously, this is all her fault for possessing a vagina -- which is certainly bad enough to these Old Boys -- but then she dares to be Hispanic!

    I can only hope that Dems and women become the majority as a result of all this, and Republicans go the way of their predecessors, the Whigs.

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    1. Oooo, and she's after their friends' money. That's the real problem.

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  2. AOC is a rock star, Pelosi is a supernova.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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  3. Nothing quite like a smart young woman who refuses to kowtow to the good ol' boys and the way things have always been done to scare the old white dudes silly.

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  4. Dang! I love how you write. AOC is already great fun to watch.

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    1. Isn't she? We need to get behind her. Now what "they" are saying (that would include left and right) is her ideas are too "out there." But those are the ideas we need.

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  5. When saw that lone citrus-American (a very small minority group) reading his points in a dull, monotone voice I wondered, "What color is the sky on his planet," because I don't think it (he?) is from around here.
    It does my old heart good to see a smart 29 year old woman scare the living shit out of those old geezers in the government.

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    1. They are in full attack mode. I think she can handle it!

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    2. Don't you guys employ Mexicans to pick citrus?
      Someone sent me this the other day.https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1093376704578490369.html

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  6. Replies
    1. She hasn't said a thing I don't agree with yet, but evidently she's way too "out there."

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  7. I'm so enjoying seeing Pelosi and AOC and the power of Congress starting to right the ship :)

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    1. It's almost fun again. The Whitaker business was a blast to watch.

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  8. Ahhh, governments. they never really change do they? You add your vote, hope for the best and get a newer version of exactly what went before in most cases.

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    1. Not in this case, I think...I sure wouldn't make that comparison.

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  9. Let's hope the newbie sticks to her guns and doesn't buckle under.

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    1. I don't think she's an under-buckler. We'll have to see just what They will invent to take her down, but so far she's handling it.

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  10. I watched AOC's "bad guys" Q&A in Congress the other day during hearings on voting rights and the campaign finance bill. This hearing garnered less coverage than the Whitaker hearings, which was unfortunate, as AOC's approach was brilliant and illustrated a core issue in government, while Whitaker was a total embarrassment and a waste of time. AOC has clearly grasped the problem and is making a thoughtful and impassioned effort to help us ALL understand it. More power to her.

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    1. She may have had less coverage on the new, but oh, man her questions are ALL OVER the internet. One bad-ass woman there.

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    2. Good point. The good stuff usually gets recycled avidly.

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  11. You baby boomers are literally the most evil generation to ever exist. You are all psychopaths. You destroyed your own children's future, destroyed the economy, and then you sit back and laugh smugly about it. I hope you boomers enjoy the retirement homes! LOL!!! I guess what I'm really trying to say is, can you baby boomers hurry up and fucking drop dead already?

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    1. I'm literally working on it, sweet Anonymous. Y'all are going to miss us, though, when the automatic parallel-park function goes out on your cars.

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    2. Holy crap, Murr. If we all dropped dead at one time, we could create enough methane gas to finish off this planet. That's our plan, right? To finish off the planet?

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    3. Never leave a job half-done, I say. I'm already getting. good jump on the methane.

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