Saturday, August 29, 2015

No Doot About It

I don't always notice these milestones, but it came to my attention that this is my 700th post here at Murrmurrs. So it seemed like maybe I should take stock or something. There are a lot of people who were blogging before I came on the scene, but the scene in general has petered out. Fewer people blog, and even fewer pay any attention to those who do.

But I'm still here. I'm here with a reduced number of readers, but I'm pretty sure that those people still dropping by are sincere and pure at heart and have come here of their own free will, and also they're bored at work.

You're supposed to have a theme. You're a quilter, or you're a Mommy, or you're an irascible political junkie with grindable axes. Everyone knows what to expect of you. With me, you don't know exactly what I'm going to write about--you couldn't, because I don't--but I do wear some of the same paths smooth. I care a lot about the environment and extinction, and the wholesale destruction of the global systems that had been sustaining us and our fellow planetary passengers for quite a long time. I'm interested in poop. And I seem to be really hard on Republicans, which would be totally unfair and unbalanced, except that they have so got it coming. They are assholes nine ways to Sunday, the whole lot of them. They want their nests feathered with stuff they've plucked off of you, and then they want to tell you to get your own damn sweater and oh by the way how many eggs you should raise.

So here's an example. Found this the other day, at the 5000-foot elevation of one of our local volcanoes. I don't know if this is poop or not. It looks like poop, but it also looks like some other kind of non-digestive consequence of some little critter's shovelings or perambulations; or even something that water did to dirt in its spare time. I poke around in doots just to see if any clues pop out, and if they don't, I slap their picture on the internet like this so someone smarter than I am can tell me what they are. These look to be made of plain dirt.

I mean, I would totally support a Republican, on principle, if I agreed with him, but on every single dag-blasted issue I care deeply about, and all the second- and third-tier ones too, they've got everything totally fucking upside-down. The solution to the climate situation is to declare it doesn't exist until they're done drilling out all the money. The solution to the obscene concentration of wealth in a few individuals is to make damn sure they're not taxed. The solution to gun violence is more guns. The solution to unaffordable health care is really unaffordable health care. The solution to abortion is discouraging contraception. The solution to the problem of gay marriage is--wait, what problem? They're insane. They'll bang a pulpit one minute and a young boy the next, and gin up five reasons to go to war on the way to prayer breakfast. They've got the word of the Lord at one end and the tailpipe of the pirate class at the other, and in between is the vacant space where they allege there might be a tangible soul worthy of protecting. No matter how thoroughly they fuck something, they won't pull out. The only thing they'd like better than lining their pockets is if they could stash the cash in a wallet made from the scrotum of an endangered tiger.

The nicest thing you can say about them is they don't mean a damn thing they say. Take the Mexican immigrants. They love them. They love the cheap labor, and they don't plan to do a thing about it. But they'll sure as hell use them to pry up votes.

Ruined water, ruined air, ruined lives, squandered resources, hypocrisy, and sanctimony. Poke around this kind of shit long enough, you know exactly where it comes from.

89 comments:

  1. I have a theory about the decline in blogs: people's attention span is diminishing, thanks to FaceBook and Twitter. They consume these small, meaningless posts that they can just scarf down like a bag of Doritos. An actual blog means that you have to sit down and think about what to write, write it, then edit the hell out of it. Whew! Then the people reading the blog have to take time to read a whole page of text! I mean... they could read a whole bunch of Tweets in the same amount of time!

    Then there are people like me, who found themselves wasting a lot of time on the computer when it was all fresh and new to them. Real life still beckons, so something has to give. As a result, I have cut the number of blogs I read, just as I cut the cord on the television years ago and now only watch what I actually want to see via Netflix. This can be a good thing, however, because the bloggers who remain are hopefully the ones who have something to say in an interesting manner. The cream rising to the top and all that. Granted, that hasn't worked that way for television, but maybe it will for blogging. One can hope.

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    1. I know my attention span has shriveled up. Sometimes I'm reading a really good piece and then I notice the scroll bar thingy has barely moved--and I start playing with it to see just how much time I need to invest to get the thing all the way read. I did NOT do that when I was reading reg'lar.

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    2. HaHa! I do that, too! When the scroll bar thingy is just a small dot, I know that's a bad sign....

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  2. Congrats on your 700th blog. May you live and be willing to double that number. I have reduced the numbers of blogs I read, only because I'm not gardening, at least in my own garden. But I've increased the number of blogs I read that remain interesting and amusing and informative. Your blog will always be on my list. Thanks.

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    1. I'm proud to be among the few, then. Thanks!

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  3. I still read you but I hardly ever comment because I am not only intimidated by your quick wit, but that of your commenters, too. But I believe in you, and I believe in blogging. We don't need big numbers, we need each other and I need you. Happy 700th. :-)

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    1. According to my statistics, I have far more readers than commenters, so never feel as though you need to comment just to check in. I'm happy to know you. And one of these days I'll be knocking at your door and asking directions to the nearest vista.

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    2. Yes! What DJan said exactly! Murr, may you continue to write, and make us all laugh, and make us all think at the same time. That's talent, baby!

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    3. Wow! I can't think and laugh at the same time. That's why I like to laugh so much.

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  4. Yes'm miz Murr, you do know how to poke at the poop.

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  5. Do NOT stop writing! I count on you to say what I am thinking in a way more comprehensible form than I ever could. I read, then I think, Yes, THAT'S what I mean. And I learn from your posts.
    Congratulations on your 700th post!!! Here's to many hundreds more.

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    1. So far the stream hasn't run dry. I keep expecting it to, but it doesn't.

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  6. You forgot one: Republicans also have an unhealthy attraction to sheep.
    I'm glad to learn that, like me, you remain carefully neutral on politics.
    It seems to me that people that can be labeled (libeled?) writers, and you certainly are one, write no matter what.
    Cheers

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    1. Wait a minute. Sheep?

      Yeah. I'm neutral. I'm so neutral that late last night, after I'd had a beer or so, I went back in and put in all the naughty words. I thought: oh, I shouldn't do that, should I? And then I thought: what the fuck.

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  7. Good work, Murr ! CONGRATS on #700.

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  8. Yours is the ONLY blog I read. Period. Keep 'em coming! Oh, and ditto on the Republican rant thing.

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  9. I'm glad you are still writing your blog. I think when voices of sanity and reason stop putting their (your) words out there for folks (me) who agree with your stance on this or that important thing, it gives the illusion that somehow they (the bad guys) have won. Born again pagan blessings on your 700th. May the words flow for 700 more!

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  10. My blog was a pretty true reflection of myself. I had anonymity, which for me meant a certain safety. With blogger and google and facebook all trying to link everything together, I could no longer risk the major conflicts that would arise in my husband's family when/if they found it. The funny thing is they were always telling me to start a blog...maybe they knew it would be fodder for their fundamentalist bible studies? Anyway, someday we'll be able to cut those binding cords and I'll blog again. I really miss it.

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    1. Hmm. Maybe a wordpress blog? Unconnected to Google? Hmm? Would that work?

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  11. As I Republican who respects all life, favors stricter gun regulation, believes all people should be able to form legal relationships and has no problem with calling it marriage, and has never lined my pockets with the labor of illegal immigrants, posts like this give me a greater understanding of how difficult it must be to live with hatred and unreasonable prejudices and stereotypes that minority groups in this country have to live with.

    I do think you have exaggerated your hatred for Republicans for the purpose of satire and humor, and are better than those Republicans on the extreme right who are equally brutal in their contempt for Democrats and therefore will continue to follow your posts, unless of course you don't want me to...actually you can't stop me so I will continue to follow.

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    1. I wouldn't DREAM of stopping you! I have great affection for you, you cranky old man! We're fellow cranks. PS I think your party has left you.

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    2. Since the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and the squeakiest wheels seem to be Tea Baggers (is that what they are called?), they are the only repyoobicans we hear about any more. There used to be compromise. Remember that?

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    3. Vaguely. Of course, I'm more interested in getting my own way.

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  12. I found it an odd posting to mark your 700. It gave me not one giggle not even a smile. You've certainly spewed your opinion of all encompassing evil by slapping the name Republican on it with this posting. I'm beginning to think scathing Leftist intolerance is just as bad.

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    1. I didn't even know where I was going with this until I started. I agree that spewing happened. It most surely did. I would disagree a bit about conflating the perceived intolerance on opposite sides of the political spectrum. What I did hope to show was that I am intolerant of certain positions, as opposed to people, and I am as sorry as anybody that the Grand Old Party has embraced every one of these positions so enthusiastically. I have no compunction about labelling these stances Republican. There are plenty of Democrats out there worthy of scorn too, but the party in general at least pays lip service to comity. There used to be thoughtful people in the Republican party, but now they seem to be a united front against any reasonable global strategy, and the presidential candidates are a clown car. I try to rein this stuff in but you're absolutely right--I'm fundamentally pissed. And yes--I DO have Republican friends, and I like them just fine!

      I'll get back to more of my stuff and nonsense on Wednesday. Hope to see you here, but I understand if you want to part ways. It's no fun to be aggravated.

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    2. "And it's thrilling to come across something you don't know, unless you're the sort that has it all figured out all the time, in which case you might as well stay inside and mock people on the Internet".Quoting you, Murr Brewster. I don't think it is worth parting ways, just that your posts usually point something out that I don't know. I need more stuff I don't know.

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    3. There's an outside chance Wednesday's post will have something you don't know.

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  13. I read only two blogs faithfully, yours and Julie Z's. There are lots of others I read from time to time and enjoy, but who has the attention span? Congratulations on the 700th! Don't you ever stop now, y'hear? And I don't know how you could possibly discuss Republicans - and/or the general state of things - without using the naughty words.

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  14. 700 posts? And I haven't (yet) read them all.
    Some day I will. And I will laugh, and I will wince, and I will bobble my head up and down like one of those dogs you used to see on the back window ledge in cars...

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    1. All righty, you have to start in December 2008 and plug on through. Good luck. (I hope you're never really that bored.)

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  15. It's a pity the Republican chaps don't peter out like so many spent bloggers...
    My stats tell me I have over 400 posts and, oddly enough, a reader in Saudi Arabia.I did manage a post last week and think I spent more time finding my way around the site than writing.

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    1. They keep changing things. People of a certain age HATE when they change things. Congratulations!

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  16. Yay for naughty words. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. I recently completed a 24 hour ban from posting anything on Facebook for the heinous crime of suggesting to a relentless troll that he had an unhealthy fascination with Bill Clinton's sex life. I pointed out to the Facebook Community Standards Police that they let the Wing Nut Brigade post all manner of vile racist crap about the President that would make my septic tank leap out of the ground in horror, but my tame little comment was beyond the pale. I'm really old enough I shouldn't expect fair after all this time. But for the love of DOG, or perhaps Pootie, please keep blogging away!

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    1. What? Facebook gives time-outs? I had no idea. I guess someone reported you, huh? Maybe you should tattle on them back.

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  17. Pure at heart. You've got me pegged alright.
    700? That's amazing! Maybe you could start a 700 Club only way different from the other one. As far as Republicans go you are preaching to the choir, but you do put it so nicely and fair and balanced.
    Thanks to your writing I have never put any kind of animal in my pants either, so thanks for looking out for me.

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    1. This begs the question of whether any animals have inadvertently relocated to your pants without your knowledge or express permission.

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    2. Well, there was that cougar once.

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  18. agree with everything you said here. You're a wonderful writer. I have no idea what those little things were, but trust you'll post when you find out.

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    1. Hey, I'm getting NOTHING about that. I put the pix on Facebook and got a few guesses involving crabs, but I don't think there are any crabs on Mt. Adams. At least, not for the last 400 million years, and these were fresh.

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  19. It looks rather like dirty rat poop! Maybe Pat L. knows! She is the nature nut (not saying you are a nut, Pat.). Did I hear a rumor that you are running for President? I am not sure if that would be good or bad...at least you would make us all laugh!

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    1. You dirty rat! And you did not hear any such rumor. I intend to enjoy my life. The occasional rant notwithstanding.

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    2. Damn. You and Elizabeth Warren really need to rethink your position on what this whole 'enjoying life' instead of seeking the Presidency. We need at least one of you women in that big ole house in DC.

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    3. Can you imagine a more frustrating job?

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  20. So many comments, so little help identifying the ... whatever those things in the picture are ...

    I left another comment in our conversation of yesterday. Part compliment, part apology, fully sincere. And if you DO end up reading anything, better you start with Part III (cough short attention span cough)

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    1. I'll own that. I miss my old attention span. Yes, I saw that comment. Honestly, I'll try to work it in!

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    2. I was only quoting you from your reply to mimimanderly!!!

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  21. Happy 700th blog post, Murr! In the words of Lou Reed: "Take a walk on the Wild Side, and the colored girls go doot doo-doot, doo-doo-doot doo-doot..."

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  22. So appreciate your voicing so many things that float around in my head. THANK YOU and congratulations on 700. May there be 700 more!

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    1. Or, put another way, there MAY be 700 more...I'll be as surprised as anybody.

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  23. Bravo! #700 expressed my feelings with an eloquence I don't possess. The # is not a hash tag.

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    1. There are a lot of people, some of them in my own family, who would say it is not possible to be eloquent and use the F-word so often. I say: there is eloquence and there is eloquence.

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  24. Congratulations on 700!. Mine's a bit more than that, but mostly photos, any text is fairly shallow stuff, there's not much deep thinking going on over here; I have you for that. And I come here for the comedy too. I don't read as many blogs as I did, some have got too ranty, some too political, but I'll read here as long as you continue to write.

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    1. You're very kind. And I promise to keep these sorts of posts to a minimum.

      Uh, that won't be ZERO...

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  25. I recently celebrated my 15th year of blogging and have published >5600 entries. We write the same eclectric subjects except (a) you are a better write and (b) you have a huge following, which I do not. But I do this because I enjoy it and do it for. I never check my stats. So keep writing. There are at leasy 54 readers (counting the replies to this entry) who would miss you.

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    1. Holy Moly. 5600? I won't live that long! Salut to you! I don't check my stats much, but I do know how many people check in on every post, and it's fewer than you think. In the heady early days, it kept going up and up, and the trajectory was marvelous, and then it started going down, and I quit checking. I use the exact same method to monitor my investments.

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    2. I literally spit-snorted all over myself when I read this response because that's exactly how I handled stat checking when I wrote. I never noticed the correlation between that and how I monitor my wee investments.

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    3. If I don't look at bad news, maybe it didn't happen.

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  26. Sorry for the typos. Always a problem when using an iPad!

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    1. Ain't it the truth. Some of the stuff that leaks out there before you've had a chance to vet it is something else.

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    1. Hey, thanks for leaving breadcrumbs back to your place. You seem like someone I should know.

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  28. Talk about having to scroll all the way down with that little box on the sidebar!! You have so many comments, which must be good evidence for you to continue to write. I am glad you write the things I am too intimidated to write. I write anonymously and still am not as honest as I could be with my readers...but also not as funny as you. It is easier to take bitter medicine with humor.

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    1. I'm not as honest as I could be either. I'll tell tales on myself but not on my loved ones.

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  29. As others have said, it is also true of me that you are the only blog I read. Your writing and opinions are fabulous. Naturally I think this because I agree with what you say.

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  30. 2009 posts here since 2005, but mine tend toward thoughtful captions on pretty pictures, not the elegantly written verbal acrobatics you deploy. I remain amazed at your (I'm going to use a word I loathe here) stick-to-it-iveness. The doots look to me like something a bug might roll up for easier transport out of the excavation. Tailings. I suggest lying on your belly at the entrance for 48 hours or until said bug appears. Probably at 2 AM in the rain... As for the rant, well, you're a lot braver than me, and your dear and faithful readers know by now what they're sticking their minds into when they go for a Murr read. The memory of having posted a photo of a smiling donkey on the day Obama was elected sticks with me. One of my readers wrote at length to scold me on polluting my blog with politics, and said she was very disappointed in me for, essentially, not sharing her entire world view. I still shake my head. It's easy to forget that blogs are highly personal, very public journals, and part of their appeal is that we get to peek into those pages. And that we get to do that for free. Here's to you, you brave and bold Democrat, you. Let me know if you ever figger out the doots. xoxox jz

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    1. At last! A science chimp weighs in on the doots. I also think they're something non-fecal, but I didn't have enough familiarity to guess the method of production or the point. I do like the idea of lying on my belly and waiting, but I'd rather have people for that. You, actually. I'll pay the air fare--

      As for disappointing people, I guess I kind of figured everyone who'd be upset by this rant has sieved themselves out by now. It's not like my opinions are any kind of state secret.

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  31. I am a faithful reader and love what you write - as Julie Z says, if someone reads this blog regularly, they should know by now that you speak your mind. I don't normally comment because your regulars are very clever and I'm not. I read several blogs, but I truly look forward to your entries and Julie Z's. They both make my day...and I loved the rant today - too funny and right on the nose!

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    1. But you do comment regularly! I pay attention!

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  32. Your writing, which I very much enjoy, reminds me sometimes of the work of Billy Collins, former U.S. poet laureate. His poems start out talking about one thing, and then with a little nudge here and a shift there, seem to be drifting off to another topic -- but then by the end, you realize you've come around full circle and he was talking about the same thing all along. Very cool, super-approachable writing, and good metaphors to boot. I think you might enjoy him. Try "Sailing Alone Around the Room."

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    1. I'm a big fan of the metaphor. I'll check him out. I've never heard of him, but that's not unusual for me. You wouldn't believe how much stuff I haven't read. Wait--what?

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    2. I'm with you there!! So much to read, so little time!

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  33. Murr, I've been trying to remember what those "doots" remind me of, and the lightbulb finally lit up ... not that I think this is it, but it's what they resemble - the mud nests of cliff swallows. Picture sample: http://www.learner.org/jnorth/tm/swallow/MudSwallows.html (first two pictures; click on them to enlarge)

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    1. Yeah, they make little mudball nests. Similar! I think Julie's on the right track though. Something that was excavated. By whom??

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  34. A while back I expected that I would be moving to Portland (from Cambridge, MA) and one of your readers let me know about your blog. I've been reading and enjoying it ever since. Even thought I likely won't be moving any time soon, our blog helps me feel connected,

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    1. Hey, Cambridge and Portland aren't all that different, except we don't have mosquitoes and humidity and nine feet of snow. If you DO move, gimme a holler! I'll show you around. Thanks for popping in.

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