Saturday, April 25, 2015

Climbing Yosemite


It started with the taxes, of course, as most of my annual bouts of aggravation do, although in this case I didn't even get to the Doing Taxes part. What I did was load the tax software into the computer until the little icon popped up and when I went to drag the little icon to the Applications folder on my dock, I noticed I no longer had an Applications folder, and it didn't come when it was called, either. So I started poking around until I found something called Applications and tried to coax it onto the dock, but it flat refused to go. And then I managed to drag the tax software into the folder anyway, and clicked on it, and now it says it won't even start until I upgrade my antique operating system. So what with one thing and another I decide to install the newest version of my operating system, "Yosemite," and the machine starts chugging away with all the vigor of someone pulling up a 5,000-pound halibut from the seafloor with a nylon cord; meanwhile a progress bar suggested (at first) that I would have to wait nine hours for it to download. And then suggested I check back next Tuesday. And finally shrugged digitally and declined to advise.

I walked away.

Even nine hours was plenty of time to talk with my neighbor and learn that the operating system I was pulling up from the seafloor was likely to blow up all my data by the time I got it in the boat, and even if my data are stored on the cloud (which is something, in theory, I've been paying for), it doesn't mean I will ever get any of it off the cloud, although in her case it all turned out to be her phone's fault; and by this time I was so confused I decided it would only be prudent to call up the folks at the Mac store and have a chat.

But when I realized that I had, once again, held my cell phone up to my ear for a good minute waiting for the dial tone, I lost all confidence I would understand whatever they'd have to say. So I walked even farther away. And commenced pulling weeds. Weeds I understand.

And then the day got worse.

Dave got out the power washer to clean the patio and walkways. At least that's how it always starts. Dave loves, loves, loves his power washer. I bought it for him one Christmas because I knew he would love, love, love it. It speaks to all his most extreme neatness tendencies and juices them with turbo power. He loves it way, way, way too much. There's nothing he can't destroy with it, one neat, satisfying layer at a time. He could peel the wrinkles off a rhino. He could strip the Holy from the Pope until you couldn't tell him from any other guy in a dress.

Now, to recap, I had a computer slurping up the seeds of its own destruction; it might never come back; and I had a hundred decibels of assurance that our garden and house might soon be thinned to vapor. I walked even farther away. I started pulling weeds at the house next door. Weeds I understand.

You can spend nine hours pulling weeds, and they'll always come back.

38 comments:

  1. You know, it's easy to find a CPA who'll do your taxes for a few bucks without you needing to download him, upload him, drag him into a folder, or upgrade your operating system. I don't know how the price compares to tax software, but the cost in aggravation is much less and the results are likely to be better -- the average person's taxes are very simple by the standards of what a CPA is qualified to do, and I've never used tax software because I don't trust it to interpret the tax code correctly in doubtful cases. And most CPAs weigh substantially less than 5,000 pounds.

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    1. The last time I used a CPA he was a pretty chunky guy. I didn't upgrade my OS just for the taxes: I figured this was the beginning of things not working properly. BOY WAS I RIGHT.

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  2. I also have the old Mac operating system -- leopard or snow leopard... I forget which. I like the old OS; it's easy to understand. My husband has the next one up on his Mac (I forget what it's called... bobcat? Mountain lion? Feral tabby? What's up with all the freakin' cats anyway?) and I tried it and don't like it. I can only imagine that I would like Yosemite even less. (Guess they ran out of cat species.) He has an older Mac, so cannot upgrade to it, and I am reticent to upgrade for all the reasons you are encountering. Please let us know if you eventually downloaded it and whether all your data remained intact.

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    1. Stay tuned next Wednesday. Although I don't mention that all my data are fine; and it doesn't make sense to go to Yosemite if you aren't syncing your phone and ipad and what have you. That's what it's mostly about. The other changes all seem good though. EXCEPT it's slow as hell and pages won't load. EXCEPT for that. Bleah.

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  3. I love Mac computers just as much as your Dave loves power washers; however, Macs, like most every other electronic device, have gotten too complicated for ordinary mortals. I made sure when I got my new washing machine that it had knobs instead of a digital screen. That last washing machine defeated me.

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    1. I know! I got a new petite 4-cup coffeemaker (sorry Mary Ann, I'd gotten it already) and all it has in an on-off button. Can't tell you how happy that makes me!

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  4. You could do your taxes with a calculator (or a slide ruler) in less than nine hours. Too much dependency on technology.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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    1. Yeah, I don't know if I could. It's not the math, it's the "where does everything go?" Rental property, writing business (now that Christian Science Monitor keeps publishing my essays, I have Income)...

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  5. I just loaded latest Yosemite upgrade, and now I can't open any photos is Photo Shop!!?? May just have to do my blog without photos.

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    1. Keep trying. I tried to install their new thing (I think it's just called Photos) and failing, and then some button or other I pushed while opening IPhoto gave me the opportunity to upgrade in a minute or two. And all my photos came back, and it's fine. Couldn't tell you at all what the heck I tripped over to make that happen, though. Fool around in the old system and see what shakes out.

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  6. You are a brave, brave woman to even attempt this foolhardiness :)

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    1. "Brave" as in "just put your foot on the beginning of the Oregon Trail because there was nothing left of home" brave.

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  7. I also upgraded to the latest OS on my MacBook a week or two ago. That progress bar thing kept saying "23 hours" and the like. And then once the deed was finally done I discovered I now had PHOTOS instead of iPhoto and sheesh have been trying to get used to that ever since. Plus I started wondering what it would do with all the old iPhoto libraries that I have stored on an external hard drive when I want to open them. Last night I finally worked up the nerve to try it and see. It would appear that iPhoto still exists to deal with them as needed. Of course, who knows what will happen a few more upgrades down the line...

    Also? Like Infidel753 - I have got me a CPA. It does cost a good deal of money some years, but the amount of aggravation saved is priceless.

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    1. I have to admit, as much as I'd rather not, that TurboTax (once it deigns to accept my OS) really isn't that aggravating at all. I complain mightily about starting it up but then the whole thing only takes an afternoon.

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  8. My taxes are fairly simple now that I've used up all my deductions from capital losses from when the economy tanked in 2008 and my mutual funds gave up the ghost (thank you, George W. Bush), but I still go to my accountant. He found me a nice refund this year, and if I had come up with that amount on my own, I would never have believed that it was correct. So it was well worth his fee!

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    1. Yeah, the whole reason I had to go to a CPA (before software) in the first place was one single horrible investment (a limited partnership?) that made my taxes incomprehensible. Now that I don't have any money anymore it's easier. I've said it before. I'm fine with paying taxes. Have them ask me how much money I have, take a simple percentage, and be done with it. Sure wish they could do that.

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  9. Yosemite is offered to me to install every couple of weeks but so far I have declined. I like what I have on my Mac.

    I'll be glad when the mortgage is paid off and we can take a standard deduction. And when we no longer have interest in an LLC. Or investments.

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    1. Yup. We've been taking the standard deduction for years but for some reason I always go to the trouble to itemize all my deductions anyway. One of these years I'll realize it doesn't come close.

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  10. Oh my darling. Folding you in my arms. There is nothing quite so horrible as the Spinning Color Ball of Death. Or the Inching Blue Bar of Death. Or the White Screen of Death. Didn't anyone tell you that when you drink the Mac Kool-Aid (I live on it) that part of the deal is they pull the rug out from under you every few months? Apple is like a Bad Boyfriend. Last time I was at the Apple Store, a rough-shaven stripling youth in a thin blue T-shirt informed me that two years from now there will not be a single external hard drive in the store. Storage will all be On The Cloud. This sent a shiver from head to toe. I just bought huge gigs of Cloud storage for my brand new iPhone 6, but I have no idea how to access it. Cha-ching! Advantage, Apple. I have a sneaking feeling that, since you're able to post and I doubt you're doing it from your phone, you've bought a new computer. Which is what Apple wants you to do, after all. Brilliant post. Strip the holy off the Pope, indeed! xoxoxo jz

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    1. Yeah, it's the details. All my stuff is on The Cloud? Cool! Uh, where is that? Can I reach it from here? Let it rain, baby! Nope, same 2009 iMac. Everything's running fine when it feels like it. But the rest of the time it's--"I'm going to take a nap now. Why don't you shut me off and go do something useful? Isn't that what you always say you'd rather be doing?" Well okay, but I wanted to be in charge of that. I guess it's been a long time since I had a bad boyfriend.

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  11. Do my OWN taxes?! Are you kidding?! I pay someone and let them deal with it all.

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    1. I find it interesting that my commenters are evenly divided between people who were moved by the Tax Complaints and those moved by the Computer Complaints. And no one cares about the power washer.

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    2. Actually, Razz cares about the power washer, and wonders if he can borrow it, as he is scheduled to paint the house this summer.

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  12. I actually have one thing to screech about here, and it's the power washer. But, then again, I have deep-seated worries about the world's water supply.

    So I'll settle for this: at least weeds, unlike taxes and computers, are something real.

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    1. The power washer comes out once a year, and I think it uses five gallons of water an hour, with each molecule traveling at the speed of light. So there's that.

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    2. I will, however, refrain from telling you how long I stay in the shower.

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  13. I've never heard of the Yosemite operating system, it must be an American thing. I've been running on Firefox for four years now, with no trouble at all.
    I understand weeds too.

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    1. You're thinking of browsers. The operating system is what runs the computer. Wow! It's like I knew something! That's the extent of it though.

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    2. so my Windows7 is my operating system then?
      I don't pay much attention to what is what as long as it keeps working.

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  14. Given the state of our perpetually arid country I'm pretty sure I could get thrown in jail for buying a power washer.

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    1. We gots water here. I'm not defending any practices, though.

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  15. It is interesting (in a ah-ha sort of way) that Apple is finally becoming snotty. After all the heartaches and fights those of us have with Windows, I at least now have company.

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    1. Well, they still haven't thrown anything at me that was as bad as the Windows stuff. But I heard that PCs got real good the very year I switched teams. Of course!

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  16. I never had trouble with my Mac until I upgraded to Yosemite. Now it crashes frequently and I get the spinning color ball. At least it's still fast restarting

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    1. ...and you'd know, because you restart ten times a day...

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  17. Oh, lordy, I think my computer is about ready to quit, and I really want to just buy a new one before that happens, but it's so...scary. Yes, that's it, I'm going out to pull some weeds.

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