We’re still paying a poultry amount for eggs
Honestly, chicken sex doesn’t look like a ton of fun to me, but at least [...]
Cockchafers keepin’ it on the down-low
My neighbor’s lawn is all tore-up to beat hell. She said the crows did it. [...]
We don’t really know what’s been in and out of our holes
For as long as I can recall, there has been a hole in the ground [...]
I want to be a dragged queen
You all saw that whole business in Idaho where a woman was zip-tied and dragged [...]
Cry me an atmospheric river
Forecast the other day was for a “slight chance of excessive rain.” What are we [...]
Be the roughage you want to see in the world!
Gracious me, here we all are, a bunch of gray-haired old ladies standing in the [...]
We have a bone we’ve picked for you
In these fraught political times it’s important to stay on top of emerging stories. With [...]
Stomping queers for fun and profit!
There aren’t a lot of transsexuals in this country. Or anywhere. Estimates are that a [...]
Twirl them little blue nubbins for me, baby
I was watching a compelling documentary the other day in which a baby T. rex [...]
I never looked as good as Mummy
People complain about the ads and featured posts that pop up as they tour the [...]
Venmo, Zelle, and Stripe walked into a bar. Hey boys, I said.
Word on the street is, you can earn actual money on Substack, the online writing [...]
It’s your party, you can die if you want to
We rename things now. Here in godless Portland, a person could buy a house at [...]
Not a hard decision
I was reimagining the front yard of the rental next door. It would be a [...]
Do these recessive genes make my ass look white?
Thirty years ago, if you’d told me to spit into a tube, I would have [...]
And then all we need flamer retardant
A lot of complicated issues can be solved by one man with an uncluttered mind, [...]