Saturday, September 5, 2009

Sarah Palin Thinks A Think

I'm thrilled to report that, for once, I am in complete agreement with something Sarah Palin has to say. The statement in question is located on her Facebook page. Scroll down past "What Children's Book Are You?" (Dr. Seuss: Oh, The Thinks You Can Think!) and the status report "...requests help with the Move Stolen Furniture job in Mafia Wars." And there it is:

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care."

Right on, sister mama! That doesn't happen in the America I know and love, either. But let's not stop there. Contrary to what you may have heard, or may yet hear:

The America I know and love is not one in which elderly Pomeranians are sent away to be recycled into insulation batting for poor households.

The America I know and love does not levy taxes on houses of worship until they agree to open up a needle-exchange program in the basement.

The America I know and love does not submit overweight toddlers to be diced into nuggets and sent to aid groups in Somalia.

The America I know and love does not require that debutantes that are not immediately snapped up be taken directly from Cotillion and funneled into arranged marriages with large, unattractive members of the same sex.

The America I know and love does not force its citizens to drive their babysitters to the abortion clinic in tiny, underpowered cars.

The America I know and love does not confiscate its citizens' leaf blowers and insist that they eat their yard debris with a side of sprouts and a dollop of Newman's Own.

The America I know and love does not require that its public servants pass any tests of general education, civics or integrity.

The America I know and love is not engaged in research into the grafting of wings onto monkeys, although it may have secretly delivered monkeys to wing-graft studies in Jordan or Syria. Political figures in the America I know and love do not associate closely with flying butt-monkeys. Monkeys cannot fly and fling poo at the same time.

The America I know and love is a serious place with serious business to accomplish, and its public figures do not waste time leaping out of doors at the American public and yelling "boogity boogity boogity."

Oh wait a minute, scratch that last one.


  1. Murr for President! Or...Vice President!

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    Can I say that?

  4. Thank you. This is great. Wish I had discovered you sooner...

  5. You are a writer after my heart. Sarah Palin -- bad for the country, great for comedy.

  6. I wasn't sure what you wrote could be any wilder or far-fetched than the title you gave it, but you showed me! That was a great rant.