Saturday, May 9, 2009

The Girl's Got Spunk


I was thinking about that woman I read about in the paper, Gisela Marrero. She petitioned a judge for permission to harvest her dead boyfriend's sperm. She was interested in having a nice fatherless baby to remember him by, and who could blame her? A lot of women would have made do with a flannel shirt as a memento, but not Miss Marrero. "May it please the court," she said, "I would like to do a little nut-mining." I may be old-school, but this strikes me as creepy. I wouldn't deign to interfere, though.

I hadn't given it much thought before, but I'm sure that it's possible a man's sperm can be viable longer than he is. Just because you can't pull the trigger doesn't mean you're out of bullets. I know that, because I just spent the morning trying to pull weeds before they went to seed. If you do a really good job of pulling a dandelion up by the roots, and there are a couple yellow flowers on it, you can toss it on the compost heap and the lion will promptly wither and die. But this just annoys the flower, which senses doom and goes into seed-making overdrive. It's a little like those ghoulish French nobles who kept blinking after their severed heads had fallen into the basket. Next thing you know, you've got a good working compost pile with dandelion fluff scattered all over it. Rah rah, the Circle of Life, and all that.

This morning, however, I got to the lower forty (feet), which is covered with tall grass, and pulled it all out before it had even begun to flower. I was pretty tickled with myself. The only downside was that I found a bunch of these odd little life-forms just under the soil. Several. Thousand. I have no idea what they are, but I have a feeling they're up to no good. They may not see it that way at all, of course. They're fixing to transform into something, and whatever that should turn out to be, they're down with it. In general I'm willing to let Nature take care of things. I don't interfere all that much. So I'm not going to stomp the buggers, and I'm certainly not going to lay down any pesticide. But I am not above lining them up topside for a little jay buffet. It's almost natural; it's Nature with an assist. Miss Marrero probably saw her own case the same way, and the judge agreed.

The girl's got spunk.

15 comments:

  1. Elizabeth BrewsterMay 9, 2009 at 7:55 AM

    looks like armyworms. they're a pest so let the jay feed away. eventually they turn into moths....but ugly ones at that!

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  2. Elizabeth BrewsterMay 9, 2009 at 8:10 AM

    ps....hey if you find some more save them for me--I'm talking about insect pests on Monday and am actually looking for samples--good timing!

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  3. Yuck! I think they're cutworm larvae. But you're the boss. I'll find you some.

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  4. So...imagine that first talk when the son turns ten and wonders where he came from. ooooog.
    I find a lot of those, too--they do look like moth pupae. Best thing would be to put a few in some soil, keep it moist in a jar, and see what hatches out. I've always wondered. I like the idea of jay treats. I often throw big white beetle grubs on the platform feeder for my bluebirds when I turn them up in the gardens.

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  5. Rosemary LombardMay 9, 2009 at 8:51 PM

    I'd say the functional classification is "box turtle food."

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  6. Rosemary LombardMay 9, 2009 at 9:01 PM

    P.S. On that other issue but still hanging onto box turtle thoughts, it's said that the females can store acquired sperm for six months. Ten years later, think of the paternity issues! Don't ask, can't tell.

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  7. They look like something one would find in a good burrito.

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  8. I did a Google image search, and I think they are cutworm pupae. Probably full of protein! We found a lot of them last year when we were trying to dig out the corms for "arum italicum". Didn't work. They came back through thick straw mulch. Pulling doesn't work. Nor does Roundup. We are trying to smother them with black plastic now. Does anyone know how to get rid of them?

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  9. I hear tell that Roundup applied at double dose and then again when anything re-emerges will do in anything, but it's best applied at night when the hippie neighbors are in bed. Oh crap, we ARE the hippie neighbors.

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  10. Funny how everyone responded to the task of getting rid of the little wormy buggers and not the task of retrieving(?) the dead mans sperm.


    That's life I guess!

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  11. Maybe if Murr had put up pictures of the sperm, it would have provoked more response! Murr?

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  12. It got my lens all smeary. Moving on?

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  13. For your amusement.
    http://pergelator.blogspot.com/2009/05/writer-rapture.html

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  14. It got my lens all smeary. Moving on?

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  15. Rosemary LombardApril 5, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    P.S. On that other issue but still hanging onto box turtle thoughts, it's said that the females can store acquired sperm for six months. Ten years later, think of the paternity issues! Don't ask, can't tell.

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