Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Feast of Hearts



On Valentine's Day this year, Dave parked himself in a recliner and watched basketball on TV all day while I fetched beers with fluttering hands and little mincing steps, pretty much turning the relationship as it exists the other 364 days of the year upside-down. Hey, it's my pleasure. Then on Sunday it was back to Dave cooking, and, in a nod to romance, he made the whole family a lovely meal of caribou heart and tongue. There are several recipes for caribou heart on the Internet, and many of them seem fairly authentic, calling for such staples as dried vegetables and diced tundra. In most of them, the heart is stuffed. You assemble the stuffing and cram it in the pockets of the organ. Stuffed Ventricles does sound like a medical condition, and we won't even get into what the other entree, Tongue Tacos, sounds like, although it is romantic.

My niece Elizabeth moved here from D.C. only a few years ago, and on the occasion of the first birthday she celebrated here, Dave asked her what she wanted for her special dinner. To which she replied: "Oh, anything, I don't care," thinking that this was polite. She found out just how far polite gets you in this branch of the family. Dave will cook for anyone on any day, but he dearly wants people to tell him what they want, and not to intimate that it doesn't matter. Elizabeth's birthday dinner that year was cow tongue and Brussels sprouts. Every year since she has given a very meticulous itemized response to the birthday dinner question. Still, Dave cooks odd things because he likes them himself, and the nieces and nephews can never be sure what's going to show up on the table at our near-weekly Sunday dinners. Elizabeth, in particular, seems to quiver a bit and glance around nervously when she shows up, prepared to fill up on crackers, and is visibly relieved whenever a meatloaf makes an appearance.

We come by a caribou heart in the freezer in the normal way--by marriage. Some families are introduced to piroggis or pickled herring or the like when someone marries in; when our nephew Michael found and snapped up Andrea, we were treated to a variety of delicacies personally slain by her father or brother and sent down south, and it just doesn't get any more special than that. Early on we were introduced to seal and whale, beautifully presented in salad form. The whale was fine. Wouldn't you think seal would be delicious, all that fat floating around in the sea, like a bobbing bundle o' bacon? Seal is one of those acquired tastes, though, and it really needs to be acquired before you're out of diapers, or it's too late. Sources I Googled (oh yes, I checked afterwards) claim it is in fact "inedible," even though we edded it. Still, I felt very honored to have had the chance to push it around my plate.

Several members of our Sunday dinner conclave will eat absolutely anything, and have had ample opportunity to demonstrate that over the years. But we will always have cheese available for Elizabeth, and beer works for me.

17 comments:

  1. You got me at the photo!- And I continued to laugh my way through the entire story.

    I want to be your neighbor-
    Doesn't everyone agree? I sense a Murrsville or Murrstown evolving.
    See ya Sunday!
    ha ha ha!

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  2. You forgot to mention that Andrea put the tip of the caribou tongue in her mouth and terrorized the table with the vision of a half-human half-caribou demon which made me scream....now I ask....when did meatloaf or pot roast ever make anyone scream???

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  3. Hi Cyndi! I do believe there is already a Murfreesboro, or several--one in Tennessee, one in Arkansas and one in North Carolina. Do you suppose these are the places where, historically, the Murrs were freed? Surely a sacred place.

    Dave would probably point out that these might be the places that were free of Murrs. You take your sacred where you can get it.

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  4. Any idea what a proper display of gratitude is for caribou heart and tongue? It must be a special gift.

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  5. I think this is vaguely apropos. Last weekend while visiting my daughter in Baltimore she informed me that the neighborhood she lives in is called Pig Town. Apparently back in the early days they used to unload the pigs from train cars and drive them through the streets towards the slaughterhouses and packing plants. Now the only pigs remaining are the real estate developers who really want to gentrify the area. But they don't really want to say "Come live in Pig Town". They'd prefer a much fancier name like Rancho Vista Del Mar which would probably add $100k to the price of a swanky new condo (if anyone was buying). The neighbors are understandably up in arms. So if you need a cause, you might want to join the "Save Pig Town" movement. Did I say this comment was apropos? Well, anyway . . .

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  6. I loved every moment of this story. The lady has a very sharp wit, graceful intelligence [sumpthin like that] and a heart as big as a caribou's!

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  7. This story reminds me of my favorite Valentine's Day card ever. Every year Bob makes me a homemade creation usually with some silly rhyme. A bunch of years ago, however, it was a human heart (hand drawn) with a gastric fistula,(also hand drawn) with the words "Happy Valentine's Day" on the cover. The inside read.........sure you can guess it:
    "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". I must have laughed for a week.

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  8. That is one odd, romantic dude. I'd like to remind you that you guys got together on my birthday in 1970. Do you celebrate it as an anniversary?

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  9. I am not sure the blogosphere is ready for you. I am, fer sure...hooting!

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  10. Kinda scary and funny at same time!!ohya
    Keston
    Cindi sent me goodluck

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  11. Four more Cyndis and I'll have gone viral!

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  12. I am waiting...waiting....waiting for the April Fool's reference albeit early. Go ahead. This is an April Fools joke, right?

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  13. I'm going to take it that you, T.R., won't be coming for dinner on Easter?

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  14. hell ya, if your that funny in person I'll eat it!

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  15. Kinda scary and funny at same time!!ohya
    Keston
    Cindi sent me goodluck

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  16. This story reminds me of my favorite Valentine's Day card ever. Every year Bob makes me a homemade creation usually with some silly rhyme. A bunch of years ago, however, it was a human heart (hand drawn) with a gastric fistula,(also hand drawn) with the words "Happy Valentine's Day" on the cover. The inside read.........sure you can guess it:
    "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". I must have laughed for a week.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You forgot to mention that Andrea put the tip of the caribou tongue in her mouth and terrorized the table with the vision of a half-human half-caribou demon which made me scream....now I ask....when did meatloaf or pot roast ever make anyone scream???

    ReplyDelete